Wow, seems like I was just doing a round of WWE predictions TWO WEEKS AGO. Oh yeah, that’s because I did! No wonder ratings and buyrates keep slipping (outside of lazy booking, of course)… BURNOUT!
Okay, I have two issues with this show. 1- It’s only 2 weeks since the last WWE PPV and 2- it’s the same matches we’ve been getting since WrestleMania. How many times do we need to see HHH/Orton, Undertaker/Edge and JBL/Cena? Do something DIFFERENT!
I was way off on my predictions for Judgment Day (1 for 6! I’m not counting MVP/Hardy because it was a last minute add-on), let’s see how many I can get wrong this time for the 4th annual installment of WWE Uncensored One Night Stand… the one night of the year where WWE gets EXTREME!!!
Last Man Standing Match for the WWE Championship
Triple H (c) vs. Randy Orton
Orton has fallen to the pedigree the last two times these guys have fought on PPV. It will happen again. Seriously, what’s the point of booking this? Orton vs. HHH makes for a pretty boring match anyway and why should we care about a heel challenging a babyface when the heel lost the title to the babyface, then lost the rematch? Who actually considers Orton a threat to HHH at this point? I could see putting this as a RAW main event, but WWE actually thinks people will pay $40-50 for this again?
Winner: Triple H, pedigree/sledgehammer combo
TLC Match for the vacant World Heavyweight Championship (If Undertaker Loses He’s Fired)
Edge vs. Undertaker
See HHH vs. Orton. At least these two are delivering decent matches (although not living up to what I *thought* they could do together). But again, why? What was the point of stripping the belt off ‘taker when they’re obviously giving it back to him now (unless there’s some super secret big money offer from TNA!)? A stipulation like this leaves very little doubt who is winning. Still, this will probably be their best match to date because Edge + TLC = Classic.
Winner: Undertaker
First Blood Match
John Cena vs. JBL
Well, I guess, unfortunately, JBL isn’t going away anytime soon. He even picked up the win this past Monday on WWE’s ever-popular bad boy Jeff Hardy. It’s first blood, so you can win without having to pin, so that’s tailor-made for someone with as little skills & credibility as JBL. So, Cena continues his descent into the mid-card at the expense of keeping JBL strong so he can feud with HHH next (now that Regal is out). Still, JBL & Cena had a really good I Quit Match a few years back, so this could be a decent brawl.
Winner: JBL
Stretcher Match
Shawn Michaels vs. Batista
BREAK HIM! CRUSH HIM! Oh, sorry. Hey, HBK is great, but he deserves to get his in this match. This feud has been surprisingly low-key, I thought Batista would’ve interfered at the LAST PPV during Jericho/HBK but it never happened. It makes the stretcher match stipulation seem very forced, IMO, because they haven’t really had any contact since their one wrestling match. If this was a regular wrestling match, I could see them giving HBK the win (thus continuing Batista’s frustrations with Michaels in addition to Jericho’s frustrations), but I can’t see scrawny HBK beating Batista down to the point where he’s carried off on a gurney, especially when Batista has already promised to injure HBK at some point. This time, the knee injury will be for real!
Winner: Batista
Falls Count Anywhere Match
Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga
Umaga is probably going to Smackdown soon, and he’s become Jeff & HHH’s whipping boy as of late. I think the Samoan Bulldozer really needs this win whereas Jeff could use some humility and the fans will still be behind him no matter what.
Winner: Umaga, with the Catatonic
Singapore Cane Match to Determine ECW’s No.1 Contender
Big Show vs. John Morrison vs. Tommy Dreamer vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. CM Punk
I really and truly would love to see Tommy get at decent main event title feud in ECW, but it’ll never happen and he’ll probably be the first to go (if this an elimination match). Especially against Kane. Chavo’s in the same position as Edge and Orton are — jobbed out to the max and losing credibility by the day. No chance he wins. That really leaves it with Show, Punk and Morrison. Punk has MITB, I don’t see why he needs to pick up the #1 Contender’s slot here (although Edge was both #1 contender AND still had MITB as back-up back in ‘06). So we’re down to Morrison and Show. Morrison is decent, it’s ECW, so if they gave us a Kane/Chavo feud, how could Kane/Morrison be any worse? Punk & Kane have been feuding with Morrison/Miz anyway. But… Then we have the Big Show. He said when he first came back here was back to win a world title and he didn’t care which one. Kane/Big Show would easily give ECW a marquee match (although the quality wouldn’t be very good) and it’s obvious they’ll get going in this direction after watching last night’s ECW. Big Show should go heel, because ECW or Smackdown could really use him in that role and perhaps this could somehow shift to that long rumored ‘taker/Big Show feud?
Winner: Big Show
I Quit Match
Melina vs. Beth Phoenix
I’m surprised the crowd was behind Melina as much as they were on RAW. The woman is evil but because another evil woman turned on her it makes her likeable? Anyway, no way Beth says “I Quit” here, that would totally destroy her monster gimmick.
Winner: Beth Phoenix
If any other matches get announced before the show starts, I’ll be sure to add my thoughts on those as well.
