Remember robots? Big and clunky? They had the funny weirdo computer voices and didn’t understand human emotions at all? Often, they were man’s best friend, a veritable slave meant to fetch us a scotch on the rocks or help us with our hall monitor duties. Sometimes, though, they were Public Enemy No. 1 seeking to exterminate human life.
Modern entertainment would rather you believe that cyborgs are “the bee’s knees” or “the cat’s pajamas”, but we don’t really know exactly what those phrases mean. You might as well say cyborgs are “the griffin’s snare drum” for all the sense it makes.
Besides, EVERYONE knows that just like peeing in your pants (Billy Madison reference!), good old fashioned robots are the COOLEST. Now it is time to soldier forward by taking a look back at some of the coolest robots from the coolest decade.
By the way, the post title implies nothing. There will be no hearting robots from other decades! Sorry, Urkelbot. =(
Johnny 5
The star of 1986′s Short Circuit and 1988′s Short Circuit 2 (if ever there should’ve been a subtitle of “Electric Boogaloo”…) won America’s heart with his constant quest for “input”. Who’s Johnny? JOHNNY 5!
Killbots
The killbots are the mall security guards gone EVIL from the movie the 1986 movie Chopping Mall. The movie was originally called Killbots, but performed poorly and was re-released as Chopping Mall, with a misleading movie poster emphasizing horror over the movie’s actual genre blend of sci-fi/thriller/unintentional comedy.
Optimus Prime
Hey, you can’t talk cool robots without mentioning Optimus Prime. Perhaps the Transformers as a whole deserve mention, but OP warrants special atention for being the fearless leader of the Autobots. Great action figure and just one of the coolest designs ever from that line. It’s a real shame what the live-action movies did to him…
Voltron
I never liked the show very much, it just couldn’t compare to the Transformers, but the design of Voltron is great and the formation sequence really excited me as a kid.
R.O.B.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — the Nintendo Entertainment System’s Robotic Operating Buddy was ahead of its time. C’mon, Nintendo, give us a R.O.B. II for the Wii! Does anyone else think Johnny 5 and R.O.B. served as inspiration for Disney/Pixar’s design of Wall-E?
Roboto
Roboto is truly awesome. It’s undisputed. Who else but Roboto could get a super-duper birthday episode for his debut on Masters of the Universe? Nevermind the fact that he was rarely seen after that. Take a look at the figure though, don’t want to use the claw? Give him a battle axe! Don’t want to use the axe? Give him a gun! I loved watching the gears work on him too and his mouth opening and shutting as you twisted his torso.
R2-D2
The argument could be made that this feisty little droid is a 1970s robot, having debuted in 1977′s Star Wars, but c’mon… The whole Star Wars franchise was gigantic in the ’80s and there were TWO Star Wars movies in that decade so he’s a firmly entrenched figure in ’80s pop culture even more so than the ’70s, in my opinion. I always get a kick of this little dude with major ‘tude. I can only imagine with pure delight the obscenities and off-color remarks he making with his beeps and boops as C-3Po admonishes him.
Awesome post. Killbot/Chopping Mall is SO laughably bad…it’s one of those “so bad it’s good” movies that is fun to watch due to the sheer train-wreck of it. I had totally forgotten about Roboto until I saw the graphic – MAN that takes me back. Never owned one, but I remember wanting one. Of course, Johnny 5 is ingrained in the minds of youngsters from that era, and Optimus Prime and Voltron certainly captured the hearts of adolescent boys everywhere. But R2D2 is still the king.
Yeah, I had Roboto as a kid. One of my favorite MOTU figures. I ended up losing all of my MOTU collection except Thunder-Punch He-Man in the early 90s. I did a lot of bidding on eBay and now own Roboto again!
Ah, Voltron, AKA GoLion. I’ve always been a fan of that design. Oh, and the original Japanese show is much more hardcore than Voltron.
Star Wars is most definitely more 80s than 70s, if you ask me.
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