Chuck Norris & Lee Marvin are… The Delta Force

Movie poster

The Delta Force (1986, Cannon Films)

Okay, in reference to the title of this post, Norris and Marvin aren’t the only members of the team but it still sounds like a pretty cool tagline for the movie, right? As a fan of 1980s action movies, I’ve been aware of the Delta Force series (not to be confused with the Operation Delta Force series) for a very long time but it wasn’t until just yesterday I actually sat down to watch the first entry into the series thanks to Netflix.

Despite his status as a pop culture icon for people who have probably never even see one of his movies (I mean, seriously, if the guy is so popular why did so many of his movies bomb?), I’m going to go against the grain and say I’m not a huge fan of Chuck Norris. He’s waffled between B-movies and C-movies throughout his career. Some of them were enjoyable but I’ve yet to a Norris movie that I would deem “great”. That said, this is another decent entry into his filmography but The Delta Force is certainly not a “Chuck Norris movie”, it’s an action movie that just happens to star Chuck Norris. In other words, he isn’t forced to carry the movie and while he certainly gets the most face time of any single character (well, besides the main villain) the plot doesn’t really revolve around his character. This is a good thing because let’s face it, Chuck Norris never really got a hold of the whole “acting” thing. Even when he does have lines in this movie, they’re pretty horrendous. I laughed out loud at his one line when they stormed the plane during a training session. He’s just so wooden but I can’t blame him totally because it’s not like he wrote these lines (I don’t think).

Anyway, getting back to the whole “this isn’t a Chuck movie” thing, there’s a number of “name” actors peppered throughout the film. Of course, there’s Lee Marvin but there’s also Bo Svenson, American Ninja‘s Steve James, Shelley Winters, Robert Vaughan, George Kennedy, Lainie Kazan, Joey Bishop, Martin Balsam and playing the role as the lead terrorist Abdul — Robert Forster. I knew the guy playing Abdul looked familiar, I just couldn’t place him until I looked the movie up online.

The movie took great inspiration from the 1985 hijacking of TWA Flight 847 (almost to the point where it feels like exploitation) and much of the first part of the movie is focused on the two main terrorists and the passengers. So it’s kind of an odd movie in that the first half has somewhat of a sensationalized “TV movie of the week” feel to it and then the second half morphs into the typical Reagan-era fantasy action movie fare. I guess the second half of the movie is how we wanted the real hijacking to turn out.

For my tastes, at 2 hours and 9 minutes, the movie was a bit long. I’m a firm supporter of movies going 90 to 105 minutes tops. The movie drags at times but I did like that just when you think things are about to wrap up, there’s one more hurdle for the Delta Force to jump. Overall, I think this movie is slightly above average when compared to most of Cannon’s output. It seems a bit more broader in scope like they were really trying to make an A-list action film instead of the usual substandard releases they usually pumped out.

I recommend it for B-movie action junkies but this isn’t a movie I would ever watch again. That said, I already added Delta Force 2: The Columbian Connection to my Netflix queue! I don’t really have much hope for it but since this is the last Delta Force movie to star Chuck (his son Mike has a role in the third and final movie), I’ll give it a shot.

DVD cover

Gary Coleman 1968-2010

It was not too long ago that I was typing a similar post for heavy metal legend Ronnie James Dio and now here I am discussing today’s passing of Gary Coleman. I had read either last night or early this morning that he had been taken to the hospital but at the time they weren’t reporting what the issue was other than him being in critical condition. Now I get back online this afternoon and read that he passed away today at 12:05PM in Provo, Utah when it was decided to take him off life support. He had slipped into a coma on May 27 due to a brain hemorrhage that was caused when he fell in his home and hit his head on May 26.

This is the sad and final chapter in such a sad life that was full of betrayals by his own parents and business associates, financial woes, ridicule from the media and his own anger in dealing with all of that. Just last weekend I was watching parts of a special about his life which I had already seen before.

Let’s cut through the bull, jokes and mockery that the media has been laying down since the early ’90s and be honest: Gary Coleman was one of the greatest child actors of all-time. His performance on Diff’rent Strokes is amazing. Go back and watch those first couple of seasons. He had great facial expressions and comic timing. I’m thankful that BET was airing the show so often just a few years ago because that’s where I fell in love with the show again. Sure, the program was hokey at times and partook in those “special” episodes so many sitcoms did at the time but there are many genuinely funny moments on that show and many of them were brought about by the performance of Gary.

Truthfully, I never followed Gary’s career after that other than catching a few random episodes of The Gary Coleman Show on Cartoon Network back in the ’90s but his quality work on Diff’rent Strokes is indisputable. Since then, it seems like VH1, E! and various D-list comedians (who only earn their paychecks thanks to the clips shows that VH1 and E! produce) have always tried to make Coleman the butt of many jokes. I’ve never been comfortable with that. He was part of a great and successful show, was screwed out of most of that money, became an adult and worked blue-collar jobs like most of the world does. What’s worth mocking in that?

Watch old interview footage with Coleman back when Diff’rent Strokes was on the air. He was a legitimately sweet and cheery kid that life just kept kicking over and over again up until his passing. I did not realize he was married at the time of his death but I hope he found comfort and peace in his life before passing.

Rest in peace, Gary Coleman, and thank you for all the years of entertainment.

Trix Pops

A few years back I talked about some of my favorite frozen treats that I loved to eat as a kid. Some how, some way Trix Pops slipped my mind. You’d think I would have remembered them when talking about Lifesavers Pops because they were very similar in flavors. I’m not sure of the exact year but I believe Trix Pops came out in the early ’90s.

So with the hot summer days upon us, gaze at this picture and let your mouth water at the idea of cooling off with some Trix Pops:

Smurf: Rescue in Gargamel’s Castle (an arcade quality video game)

Smurf: Rescue in Gargamel’s Castle (1982, Coleco)

Rescue in Gargamel’s Castle is a pretty notorious game. At least, this is what I surmise by the fact that there are so many reviews and demonstrations posted on YouTube. It has been said that this game is awful and frustrating yet easy to beat… if only you can avoid those tall tufts of killer grass. On the surface, this game does indeed look easy. It’s a simple side-scroller where you just keep walking and jumping until you get to Smurfette in Gargamel’s castle.

And yes, while the game may be in “high resolution”, this commercial is not:

SMURF’EM ALL !!!

I could’ve sworn Angry Video Game Nerd reviewed this at one point but I couldn’t find it, so if you want a better idea of what the game is about, simply watch this demonstration:

To be honest, I’ve never played a single Smurf video game in my life which is surprising because I was a huge Smurf fan. I watched the Smurfs cartoon (even the lame Grandpa Smurf/Baby Smurf era), ate the Smurf cookies, Smurf cereals & Smurf marshmallows, had a Smurf plush toy, Smurf sleeping bag and Smurf Colorforms yet I never got my hands on a smurfin’ Smurf video game!

Looking back, that’s not my fault. The Smurfs just didn’t know what the kids liked. Sure, they were on Atari and ColecoVision in the early ’80s but they didn’t make an appearance on the NES until 1994! Who was playing NES in 1994 and publicly admitting it? By that point, I wouldn’t have wanted to play a Smurf video game even if I knew it existed. Had they cashed-in during the glory days of the NES, I assure you I would have played the game.

Surprisingly, Smurf games were slowly but surely being released up until 2001 when Smurf Racing debuted for the PlayStation. Oops, looks like they jumped the gun on the kart racing craze. How cool does a kart racing Smurf game sound though? I love Mario Kart knockoffs. I think even a platformer would work quite well on Wii. All the developers would have to do is take direction from any of the recent Mario games (Paper, New and Galaxy series) or something like Klonoa. Almost as exciting as a new Smurf kart game is the idea of home brewed Commodore 64 games like Castle Smurfenstein and G.I. Joe II: The Smurf Massacre. Those games sound like they need an update as well.

Rocky Balboa was almost a G.I. Joe

Planned packaging art

In 1985, Hasbro introduced professional wrestler Sgt. Slaughter into the G.I. Joe universe by turning him into an action figure and even featuring him in the cartoon series (voiced by Slaughter himself). In 1986, Chicago Bears defensive lineman William ”The Refrigerator” Perry also became a G.I. Joe action figure. Unfortunately, we were robbed of ever seeing The Fridge in animated glory. Then, in 1987, Rocky Balboa joined the ranks of the Joes.

Er, well, he was supposed to.

I’m not exactly sure who would’ve been negotiating with Hasbro to make this happen. Sylvester Stallone obviously would have been needed to approve his likeness but whether Hasbro was having to go through MGM/United Artists (who had released the then only four Rocky movies) for licensing rights I don’t know. Either way, the deal fell through for whatever reason.

Now, Marvel at the time was publishing the G.I. Joe comic books. Apparently they were so confident that Hasbro and Stallone & MGM/UA would reach a deal that they even went as far to print a character profile for Rocky Balboa (codename: “Rocky”) in the second issue of their G.I. Joe: Order of Battle handbook.

Here it is:

Personally, I love the idea of Rocky Balboa kicking it in the Joe universe. Rambo would’ve been cooler but by this point Rambo was too buy ripping G.I. Joe off with the rival Force of Freedom cartoon and toyline. They already had a professional wrestler and NFL player so why not a fictional boxer? Oh the adventures those three could have had together!

Knowing Rocky’s close call with G.I. Joe sheds a bit more like on the creation of Big Boa. Though I loved the character, I always thought having an evil boxer was an odd addition to the Cobra organization. As noted his profile, Rocky was to be a combat instructor for the Joes, just as Big Boa is listed as being a combat instructor for Cobra. My guess is either Big Boa was meant to be Rocky’s main foe or after the Rocky deal fell through Hasbro soldiered on the the project ended up giving us Big Boa (presumably because the idea of a boxer was too good to pass up).