I’m back… I’m back for more! Since Great Sleazy Metal Album Covers was such a success, and I had fun doing it (admittedly, looking at the actual album covers themselves), I’ve since gathered enough AMMUNITION to FIRE away my BIG GUN and bring you…
This time it’s extra LONG & WIDE for your pleasure.
Ted Nugent – Love Grenade (2007)
Let’s start off strong with a CLASSIC cover… And it was only released (well, almost) just last year! Yes sir, Uncle Ted is back in action with that classic Ted sound and those classic Ted misogynistic lyrics… The cover here is just amazing. This would be the “pre-release” cover version of the album, but easily superior to the pink ribbon wearing hand grenade cover that was released, shown on the right. I’m assuming in the politically correct world of 2007, there was probably some uproar over what was going to be the cover and instead Ted decided to play nice with the breast cancer ribbon. Who’s ready to eat?
Uncle Sam – Heaven or Hollywood (1987)
What’s better than a girl in a thong with a blade? The uncensored version with a naked girl in a thong with a blade. I had to draw a makeshift bikini bottom on the girl because initially, my original form of censorship looked just like a big black box. And well… that was the very thing I was trying to cover up.
Nemesis – Unleash the Beast (1989?)
This small-time release pretty much sums up the– if you’ll excuse me– cockiness of the 80’s hard rock/metal scene.
Sweet Teaze – Do It Till It Hurts (1989)
She’s ready for all comers.
V for victory, V for vagina.
Scorpions – Animal Magnetism (1980)
By this point in their career, the Scorps had clearly mastered the art of a sleazy album cover. This one is blowjob-tastic. Although I don’t understand why the dog is there looking like he’s about to chomp down on an Oscar Meyer weiner. Oh well. These guys are German, I’ll let the weirdness slide. Or wait… Maybe they’re just trying to say women are to be treated like dogs and are nothing more than bitches? Things that make you go hmm….
Keel – Lay Down the Law (1984)
Keel cops a feel. Wonderous boobage here. Can you imagine: you get to make music (guaranteeing you a level of women no normal guy could every come close to bedding) and then on top of that, you shoot the album cover and get to paid to hold a boob (we all know at least ONE of the band members had to have stepped up for this shot)! Oh to be hair metaler in the 80s…