Mario (of Super Mario Bros. fame) is a man of many, many, many talents. He’s a jack-of-all-trades. He’s best known and loved for battling King Koopa and rescuing Princess Peach every time Nintendo puts out a new console, but what does he do for a living and for fun during the spare few moments Peach isn’t in trouble? I’m glad I asked…
Donkey Kong (1981) –– Just like Jesus. Except for the Gorilla Slayer part. Luckily, Mario would eventually dump that awkward Olive Oyl look-alike Pauline for Princess Peach.
Mario Bros. (1983) — Of course, everyone knows that Mario (and his brother Luigi) hold down full-time jobs as plumbers. It’s the one profession his heart is in the most. If only those pesky turtles, flies and crabs would stay out of the way so they could get some work done…
Wrecking Crew (1984) — Honestly, this one actually surprised me. I’ve always been aware of Wrecking Crew, but I never knew it featured Mario. He’s a plumber AND a construction worker? This guy is hooked up with the unions. No wonder he spends so much time in the Mushroom Kingdom, he’s probably always on strike.
Pinball (1985) — Mario is really the only handyman you need to call. If you have giant pinballs falling all over the place, just give him a call and he’ll be over there with his ladder quicker than a Bullet Bob to help you out. This side gig in a major source of tension between him and Peach though, that bitch Pauline seems to be the only one who ever has giant pinball problems.
Punch-Out!! (1987) — With or without Mike Tyson, Mario can be seen moonlighting as an official for boxing matches.
Dr. Mario (1990) — Becoming tired of blue collar work, Mario is also licensed doctor! How else can he juggle all these jobs and adventures other than by ingesting lots and lots of pills?
NES Open Tournament Golf (1991) — By the early 90s, the sports bug had bitten Mario hard and he still plays a few rounds of golf to this very day. He’s also not above clipping a few gophers while going for a long drive.
Super Mario Kart (1992) — Burnin’ rubber and shootin’ shells!
Mario’s Picross (1995) — I wonder if he ever had any run ins with Indy…
Mario Tennis (2000) — Tennis, anyone?
Super Mario Strikers (2005) — Wow, Mario looks like he plays dirty when he plays soccer. I’m sure he’s a natural though, being Italian and all.
Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games (2007) — In his now-annoying quest to be the absolute best at everything there is to do in the world, Mario decides to compete in the Olympics.
Super Smash Bros. Brawl (2008) — I guess it just feels good to beat people up for the heckuvit sometimes.
Mario Super Sluggers (2008) — Is there ANYTHING this guy can’t or won’t do?
So yeah, this guy keeps busy. And don’t even get me STARTED on all the parties this guy throws.