I have failed all of you random and not-so-loyal readers this month. I mean, it’s November 13th (FRIDAY the 13th!) and all I have to show for the month so far is three lousy posts. Chalk it up to Halloween Scream burnout, not feeling well and having my parents in town this past week. Well, enough with the excuse and let’s get down to business.
Just a few days ago, I made another pilgrimage to Frankenmuth, Michigan, with BRONNER’S CHRISTmas WONDERLAND being the main reason for the journey. Along the way, we walked the quaint Bavarian shops that line Frankenmuth and for the first time ever, we wondered into the gift shops of the Bavarian Inn.
There was the usual assortment of odd and entertaining knick knacks: wine samples, extremely tacky clothes only a grandmother could love, old timey candy, pastries, creepy girl dolls, witty Jesus shirts that play off famous brand names…
Most interesting of all was a rather expansive collection of Accoutrements’ novelty action figures. They are hilariously cheap and totally random. You can move most figures’ arms at the shoulder and elbow joints, but the legs are stationary.
I get Blackbeard having his own figure. In fact, in the hands of Mattel, Hasbro or Marvel Toys that could make for a pretty cool line of figures, but “Seth Godin, Marketing Guru”? Who is this guy? I swear I didn’t even notice the male nurse figure or I would have gotten a picture of that as well.
What would Freud have to say about this?
I saved the best for last, from the greatest story ever told… here is the author — Charles Dickens! Okay, okay! It’s JESUS. Notice the light shining upon this figure from the Heavens above (AKA – the digital camera). If only they had the Battle Jesus with Stealth Armor & Laser Axe variant, then I would have bought it!
It should be noted that the Bavarian Inn wasn’t the only shop in Frankenmuth with these figures. The Frankenmuth museum had Freud, Da Vinci and Einstein figures (opting not to be so crass as to carry Casanova or Crazy Cat Lady).