More cereals that you can’t buy anymore.
BECAUSE THEY’RE DEAD.
Fruit & Fibre
Not to be confused with Kellogg’s Fruit ‘n Fiber brand cereal, Fruit & Fibre ran until 2004 when it was renamed Fruit & Bran. It was finally put to bed in 2006. Fruit & Fibre initially had two variations: apples & cinnamon and dates, raisins & walnuts. In 1986, a mountain trail mix (shredded coconut, peanuts, pineapple & raisins) was introduced followed by peaches, raisins & almonds in 1987.
Bran News came in two different flavors: honey roasted and apple cinnamon. Bran News doesn’t sound too bad. At least it’s not filled with nuts and dried fruit. I’m imagining this tasted pretty close to Cracklin’ Oat Bran.
Enjoy the quirky Abbott & Costello commercial in the video above.
Heartwise was cursed from the start. First, they were sued by the parent company of Morningstar Farms over the use of the name (Morningstar lost) and then in 1991, the FDA forced a name change to FiberWise. The FDA was touchy about the use of the word ‘heart’ in the name as Kellogg’s claims of the cereal’s health benefits were unsubstantiated.
Kenmei Rice Bran
Kenmei means “wisdom”, according to a Kellogg’s rep at the time this cereal was released. What’s interesting here is that rice bran wasn’t really a thing for human consumption at the time. It was mostly used to feed livestock due to an unstable enzyme that caused rice bran to go bad quickly. Thankfully, scientists figured out a workaround even though consumers didn’t really seem to care.
Bran Muffin Crisp
1985, General Mills
The taste of a muffin.. in a crisp! With raisins, too. YUCK. I’m not sure when Bran Muffin Crisp was discontinued but I did find that General Mills lost their trademark for it in 1993. I’m betting this one didn’t make it past 1990 though.
Oatbake came in two varities: honey roasted and raisin nut and WILL YOU STOP WITH THE RAISINS ALREADY???
Okay, this one isn’t geared towards health-conscious middle aged people, but Pro Grain did have the endorsement of the Iron Man Triathlon people. Pro Grain was marketed as being chock full o’ vitamins that athletes need, although it’s all the same vitamins that your standard cereal has anyway (niacin, riboflavin, etc.). I don’t think Wheaties were really sweating a cereal that looked exactly like C-3PO’s.