“Everyone is entitled to have some extra spending money” – No s#!t. Gimme mine, I already used that stimulus check.
“I am thunderstruck what people can do with girls!” – Yeah, buy’em, sell’em, trade’em with your friends. Collect all 3 billion!
“4th of July Jack Rabbit Sale – 20% Off” – Wow, patriotic bunnies at a fraction of their original cost! I gotta order a couple of these…
“REAL PEOPLE INTERESTED IN LIVE SEX RIGHT NOW!” – And what “REAL” person isn’t up for sex “RIGHT NOW”?
“Divorce Grounds. Beasts Incriminated.” – Um… Do I even wanna know which southern state’s newspapers this made headlines in?
“Have your left hand ready.” – It’s the only one I used for that kinda thing.
“Couldn’t reach you. Your telephone line is permanently busy.” – Well, now this may have some merit seeing as how I didn’t reload my minutes until a few days ago.