Or… One Outta Two Ain’t Bad
So I was at The Kroger’s yesterday, picking up a few sundries. Most notably, hair conditioner and a Dinty Moore Roast Beef & Mashed Potatoes heat’em-up for dinner, but what did my peepers peep (no, not Peeps™!)? Little Debbie’s Strawberry cupcakes!!
Now, some of you may remember my epic coverage of Little Debbie, and I was much surprised to see that these thing even existed. But here there were, right here in Lansing, Michigan, at the Saginaw Kroger’s! At $1.37, who could resist picking these up? I know I certainly couldn’t. I have a bit of a berry-tongue anyway, which is ironic because I don’t like real berries at all, but I’m a big fan of strawberry and raspberry flavored treats. Go Fig a Newton.
So yeah, I just had to have these. Upon opening the box, the sweet smell of Strawberry Shortcake doll hair hit me in the face. There’s only six, count’em, six cakes in the box, individually wrapped. I’m sad to say that I have been let down though. I LOVE strawberry cake, so maybe I’m a bit spoiled, but these strawberry cakes are a total letdown. I haven’t been this disappointed since my first day of working at Walgreens!
Don’t get me wrong, these things aren’t HORRIBLE, but they’re nothing special. It’s a very mild strawberry taste. The photos on the box do a pretty good representation of what these cakes look like though, they are absolutely GORGEOUS snack cakes, the pink cake really stands out like someone with their fly unzipped but you’re almost too embarrassed yourself to say anything.
The Final Straw: No good. Save your money and buy some of Little Debbie’s fine non-strawberry artificially flavored treats.
Let’s move on…
…to Strawberry Milkshake Whoppers!
Truth be told, last night I WAS looking for something strawberry, but they were TCBY Strawberry Swirl Pretzel Yogurt Flipz. Boy golly, was I in for a surprise to miss out on the Flipz but find to two completely new (to me) strawberry food items! I saw these Whoppers and I knew I must have them. ‘Dead Souls’ by NIN began to play in my head. C’mon! “They keep calling me, Keep on calling me…”? The Crow soundtrack? Know your pop culture. Anyway, I was far more excited to have discovered strawberry Whoppers than I was while on the chase for strawberry Flipz! Strawberry Whoppers! Why hasn’t this been done before? It’s a no brainer.
Obviously, they’re playing up the “milkshake” theme due to malt + strawberry, something I don’t think they do with the regular chocolate Whoppers. But there was that one time I was wrong, so who knows?
These things are pretty good, again, another STRONG strawberry scent releases itself the dust from a crummy old tomb as soon as you open the carton. And they have a pretty decent strawberry taste that’s not as bland as the Strawberry Cupcakes. If you’ve ever had strawberry yogurt covered raisins, it’s pretty much the same thing. Except you substitute malt for raisins. And I haven’t eaten strawberry yogurt covered raisins since 1989, so we probably wouldn’t be talking about those. But then again, TMNT Cereal came out in ’89, as well, so maybe we would! If I may have eaten too many of these things though, because I haven’t been feeling so good today!
The coloring is a bit off, and that’s my only complaint. The box promises a nice strawberry pink we’ve all grown up loving from the Crayola Crayon box, but we more or less end up with very, very light pink almost flesh-tone Whoppers. I’ll now refer to the picture of my big, pink balls.
I’ve got four of’em!
Here’s what my pink balls look like if you chomped off half of it.
The Final Straw: Acceptable, and it’s good to see a new Whopper flavor. Just don’t eat too many or you might get sick.